I Should Know Better!

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As a mom and a foodie, it is never wise to buy anything in white.  Between baby formula (in Strawberry flavor), and marinara sauce something is bound to end up on you.  But when I saw this AMAZING Supermodel Essential Hoodie at Victoria’s Secret, all that common sense left and I ended up bringing her home with me.  I’ve lived in it ever since.

The first mistake I made was when I got out of my car.  I live in Colorado, and even if you’re not familiar with geography, you at least know Colorado gets snow.  The thing about snow is that it melts.  And when it melts, it mixes with dirt and turns to mud.  And when it turns to mud, it splashes back on the car, leaving this wonderful, dirty, gross mess all over the place.  I pull up in front of Starbucks, get out of my car, and what do I do?  As I’m checking my email on my phone, I close the door with my elbow.

Nice.

Big gray spot on my elbow.  Never mind, I’m going for coffee, which I make it through successfully without spilling on myself.  One win, one epic fail.

Next, I go to feed my daughter a bottle.  Now, she can’t be on Similac or some other regular formula.  No.  She drinks Pediasure because she’s a skinny little thing who just won’t put on weight.  Does Pediasure come in vanilla?  Yes.  Does she like the vanilla.  Yes.  Does she like strawberry more?  Yes, and when you’re trying to get a creature to put on weight, you feed them whatever they want.  Sitting in the doctors office, I’m juggling a mostly nude baby while checking my email (hmmm. . . I think I may have a problem here. . . ) and I look down.  There is formula leaking out of her mouth.  I grab a blanket, and get it cleaned up.  In that process, I see if maybe she wants to hold her bottle herself.  Suddenly, in slow motion, she lets go of the bottle, and liquid starts to come out of it.  I pulled one of those slick tv moments where I safely throw my phone to the exam table, grab the bottle with my (now) free hand, all without managing to drop the baby.  I also avoided getting any pink spots on my new hoodie.

Next, it’s time to review my to do list for the day.  What better place to do that than at a bagel place?  I order a bagel, with cream cheese, and a skinny vanilla latte.  Yummy!  More coffee!  I manage to make it through that little adventure as well.

Dirty diapers, dogs, pizza rolls for lunch. . . I’ve made it through my day without any mishaps.  I even managed to put together my new massage chair and set up my basement as a massage haven.  That means sitting on the floor, juggling tools, and even assembling a water fountain.  Nothing.  Not a thing on me.

Yes, I think that I’ve learned how to manage in white clothing.  I know you all thought it was pretty amazing that I am a chef, I’m a (future) massage therapist, a Soldier, and a mother.  But I must say, the most impressive thing I’ve done so far this year is make it through an entire day wearing white with only one (minor) mishap.

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